>Bad Mommy Moment #37

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>A couple of days ago I took Bailey to the doctor for her 15 month check-up (she’s 17 months old, but we’ll pretend). And no, that’s not the bad mommy moment, that’s just me being my usual procrastinating self, but whatever!

I always get excited about her doctor visits because I get to see her weight and height and make sure she’s growing right and I’m not doing anything too detrimental to scar her for life (I’m trying to save those moments for her teenage years when I can do something really cheesy and embarrass her in front of her friends). It’s just that I don’t really read any parenting books or have a ton of friends who are mommies yet – so I’m always curious to see if I’m on track with stuff. And of course I always make sure Little One is her most presentable self on doctor visit days- fresh bath, no messy spaghetti-ohs for lunch, an outfit with less than 3 stains on it, etc.

Well the nurse lady comes in and does all the weighing and measuring and question asking and then leaves telling me that the doctor will be right in. And like the fool that I am, I believed her. Thirty minutes later and we’ve worked the room: I read Bailey every kid book available about twenty times, we played with the tonsil stick thingys for a good 5 minutes, we’ve pointed to all of our body parts at least a dozen times (did you know your bellybutton is sometimes on your nose??), and at the end of it, she finally got antsy. Can’t blame the poor girl. So I decide to use my last resort that I know will tie her over for another 10 minutes- my purse. I sit it on the ground and let her have at it. I take advantage of her intense interest in exploring my wallet and begin to read the adult magazines available.

Five minutes later and I’ve almost finished reading the article about how to organize your house in 20 simple steps (and again, like a fool I believe I will actual do all of them when I get home…..ha ha!), and then all of a sudden I notice it’s very quiet. As I close the pages of the perfectly tidy kitchens, I look down and see Bailey’s mouth is covered, I mean COVERED in brown stuff! Oh my gosh!!! What did I allow her to get into??!!? Despite her protest, I reach into her chipmunk cheeks and pull out all this silver, shiny paper. WHAT?!?? 9.9 times out of 10 I have nothing bad in my purse because I know how much Bailey loves rummaging through it and so I leave it safe for her. But not today. All of a sudden I remember that right before I left work I had grabbed some Hershey Kisses from my students’ candy stash and I had tossed them into my purse in anticipation of eating them later after dinner. Oh geez!!

I start to worry and wonder if perhaps she had swallowed the aluminum foil (I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s a no-no!) and so I pull it all out and unfold it to see how much was there. Of course I’m just waiting for the doctor to decide to walk in at this exact moment where me, the neglectful mom, is pulling out harmful materials from her daughter’s chocolate-covered mouth, all the while waiting to finish her check-up that I scheduled 2 months too late!!! Sheesshh!! Forget about organizing my house, I can barely handle a simple doctor visit!

But don’t worry- it all worked out in the end. I pieced together the foil and convinced myself that it was all there (well mostly) and I wiped up her face and put my purse away and sat in the little chair with her and began singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider like nothing had happened at all. And of course, like most good doctor visits, I still had to wait another 10 minutes before she showed! I’ve definitely learned my lesson- pack lots of toys for our next doctor visit! That, and stay out of my kids’ candy! ha ha!

But for anyone who wants to know how the actual visit was, it was great. Little One is doing just fine – saying at least 5 words (sometimes yelling them even…..does that earn bonus points?), running everywhere, sleeping enough (just not late enough in the mornings…..yawwwwnnn!) and eating all the right foods. And so far it looks like she won’t have her Mama’s body type- she’s tall and lean (21 lbs- 20% percentile, and 33 inches- 70%). So hopefully when she grows up she won’t have to hem all her pants like some short girl I know. ha ha!

That’s it for now- hopefully I won’t be adding a 38th moment to the list anytime soon!

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4 responses »

  1. >That’s hilarious, Renee. I love how candid you are about motherhood. And for the record, I think you’re a great mother. πŸ™‚ It’s so funny how ALL kids that age love purses (and cell phones). I guess because we tell them “no” so often that when we finally give in, it’s a treasure trove! I’m glad little Bailey is right on course…she is a cute little one. πŸ™‚

  2. >Any time I start my day by reading your blog, I know it’s gonna be a great day! …you always make me laugh and any day that starts off with laughter is going to be a great day πŸ™‚ You are so hilarious! …and not a bad mommy by ANY stretch of the imagination, you’re flippin’ AWESOME my friend!

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